On July 6th, my girlfriend broke up with me. She said she feel numb to everything and it was nothing I did. But she can't be with me right now. Later on she said me might be together again or we might not. Two days after it happened, she invited me over her house. We played a board game with her little brother. Two days after that we went to the movies together. I haven't seen her since that night. I have talked to her through text messages and AIM. I still have some of her stuff and she has some of mine, there has been no mention of returning anything.
Our anniversary is August 13. We started dating in 2005 and it was amazing. Last year we went to Toronto for our first celebration. While we were there, she started to feel sick. She has Crohn's Disease. She told me when she first got it, she didn't get out of bed, didn't do anything, and didn't want to see anyone, but that was before we started going out. So far that time in August things were good. For Christmas Eve that year, she came to my uncle's house and met all my cousins and had a great time. But when I brought her home and we were hanging out in her room, she said she was unhappy and didn't know if she could do this relationship anymore. (It's a lesbian relationship and I am the first girl she has been with) I freaked and started to cry and told her not to keep her feelings in and tell me when she felt that why so we could work on things together.
Right before my birthday in April, she got upset again. But we resolved that and went on from there.
May 21- I was sitting in my college class and I text messaged her to see if she wanted to hang out that night. (It was my last night for the semester and I couldn't wait to get out and see her) She wrote back that she wanted the night alone. I said ok but felt sick to my stomach. I went home and looked at her Myspace page to see if I could figure out what was going on. Nothing was on there so I checked her Live Journal. There was an entry that contained the result of some online quiz she took. It said that she was falling out of love and that she is only human and shouldn't feel bad about it. I saw that, freaked out, and called my best friend. She told me to call her and ask her about it. I did and she said I was never suppose to see that, it was suppose to be completely private from everyone, she didn't want me to find out that way. We talked for about two hours and decided on a separation so she could figure things out. That was a Monday night and on Wednesday afternoon, she text messaged me asking if I wanted to hang out. I said yes and I told her if she needs some night alone I would give her that. I was trying to give her what she needed. So we got back together that night.
Also at the end of last year, she said she lost her sex drive. Not to get into details we had a good sexual relationship before she lost it. The last time we had sex had to be in February or March.
So we are back to the present situation. I have hope that we will get back together but every once in a while I feel like I'm going to lose her. I know she is not looking for anyone else right now. She is trying to figure out her mind. But at the same time, she is going out almost everynight with her best friend, drinking or whatever. I'm glad that she is close to her best friend again. Sh also has been going out with other friends. I'm glad she is doing things, but is she avoiding her problems or is this how she is dealing with them? A couple of months back she didn't want to see her and avoided her phone calls. She is younger then me (she is 20 and I am 27) and maybe she has to go through this but it sucks for me. I feel like crap most of the time but when she sends me an IM or a text message it makes me feel better, not like the enemy. I know she doesn't hate me but I just don't know what to do anymore. I miss her so much. The fun little things we would do, the hugs, kisses, and cuddles. I miss the sex. I really just miss her and I'm not ready to giver her up. I can look at anything and it reminds me of her. I wish I knew what she was thinking. I don't want to ask her so she doesn't think I'm pushing her. She is avoiding me so she doesn't hurt me or give me false hope. I wake up everyday anxious, like is this the day she will talk to me? Or will she say, I never want to be with you again. It just feels like a bad dream that I can't shake and I'm extremely sad about it.
Can anyone help me?
You are being played,I know it will be hard but forget about her,there are many beautiful women out there.
Can anyone help me?
Well, If i were you I would distance myself from her. Box her things up and even if you dont give them back put them away, so its not a constant reminder of her. Also, you really already have all the answers you need you are just not willing yet to amit them. It seems in your question there were more than one time where she questioned your guys relationship for whatever reason this to me says she isnt in love with you the way you are in love with her. I would sugest you moving on. Go on a few dates spend time with friends and avoid her for at least awhile till she is out of your system alittle bit . Yes it is painful and how something could be right and painful Im not sure about . But I do know from experience your only headed for more pain and the longer it goes on the worse it will be This I do know . Best Wishes .
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